I have been an active Christian for 10 years. Before that, I had “a heart of stone” – if that’s not too melodramatic. I had walls upon walls – trauma, hardness, pride, and independence which allowed no room for true intimacy or relationship. Slowly, God has torn down each of those walls and taught me how to love him well. Ten years of learning how to love God. I have preached the healing love of God over and over because I believed myself to be healed – and make no mistake, I was healed of many, many things. But last week, I had my eyes opened to see that though God has done incredible healing work in my life to allow me to love him, now the focused has been turned on me and my interpersonal relationships. Though I finally feel safe enough to love God completely – to rely on him without reservation – I cannot say the same with people. Trauma of my past still deeply affects my interpersonal relationships.
My point in telling you in all this is that I want you to know that we serve a God of healing. He is not satisfied until we are completely healed – that our relationship with him is completely healed, our relationships with our families are completely healed, that our friendships are completely healed: he redeems us to bring shalom into every aspect of our relationships. It may take decades, but slowly, layer-by-layer, God wants to heal your brokenness. He created you perfectly. The brokenness of the world destroys God’s perfection. But God refuses to leave you there. He slowly binds up one broken place so he can then move to bind up the next. Your God loves you too much to leave any part of you broken. Please hear this: God uses His Word, His love, and the gifts of healing he has given his children to help heal you. God has given you a community with access to mental health care which may be necessary to process your trauma. If you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to figure out why or how to “fix it” (like I did), please seek out help from someone given the gift of counseling, trauma therapy, or another specific therapy directed towards your personal needs. This is God’s gift to us – that we have doctors and therapists who use their God-given gifts to heal. Use them. Allow them to exercise their gifts to bless you with healing and wholeness.
Where is God asking you to allow him to start healing in your life? What trauma keeps you away from becoming the Christ-like person God designed you to be? He is Yahweh Rapha, God of Healing, and he will not be satisfied until you are fully restored to the perfect shalom for which you were created.