This semester is finally over. I have learned so much, but I am so ready to be finished! As my brain leaves the classes of Spring semester, I look forward to summer and the Bible study awaiting me. I am taking a practicum over the summer and God inspired me to use the practicum to teach my first Bible study. I have such a passion for them and have facilitated multiple studies, but never taught one myself. When this idea first popped into my head, I was excited beyond belief. I started making notes, designing the study, making outlines, writing down themes, etc… Now, however, as the study looms ever closer, the excitement is still there but the fear is beginning to set in. Thoughts of “what was I thinking?!,” “what can I teach somebody?!,” and “who am I to speak about God’s Word and His being?” are running through my head with ever-increasing panic. I keep thinking how audacious this is and that I have no right, I am not equipped, I am not worthy such an undertaking. If I let myself, I will go into a true panic over this study and fear will take such a hold on me. Have you ever been there? When the idea of something is so excited that the implications don’t hit you until later, and then you panic? That’s where I am. I am overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy.
Even through my fears and hints of outright panic, I hear God whispering. There is always a way out – out of sin, out of fear, out of panic, out of anxiety – and that way out is listening to the truth of God’s Word. His whispers to me sound a whole lot like 2 Cor 12:9-10:
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Oh, how these words speak to my heart this morning. ❤ I can just hear Him saying, “Oh my Love, MY GRACE is sufficient, and MY POWER is made perfect in your weakness.” See, what He is reminding me even as I write this, is that I AM inadequate – I do not have anything worthwhile to teach or convey to anyone. BUT. He who lives within me does. It is because of my inadequacies that His power, His Word, His Grace will shine and will speak; in my weakness I allow Him to take over, I allow Him to speak through my mouth, to write through my fingers on the keyboard, to convey messages that are not mine. Therefore, I am BOASTING about my weakness and will be content in my inadequacy, knowing that when I am at my weakest, He makes me far stronger than I could ever be on my own.
If God has called you to something that scares the ever-living life out of you, get on your knees and pray. See your weakness, feel the inadequacy, and praise God that through you He is going to do something HUGE. God does not call us to the safety of our comfort zone; if we are not scared of goal He has set before us, then we need to dream a bit bigger. If God has called you to something specific, He will not fail you in your need; He will baptize you in HIS power and make you stronger than you ever thought you could be.
My Covenant God, my YHWH, the God who never fails His promises, I bless your great and Holy Name. I praise you for your vision, for the goals you set before us; goals we could never attain on our own. I praise you for your unfailing love and faithfulness. I praise you that you use the weak – that it is when we are the most inadequate, you use us for your Unspeakable Glory. I pray that you would give us visions of futures that scare us to our bones, and faith to know that you will meet us there and will empower us through your Holy Spirit into victory. I am so humbled, I am so awestruck of you, Most Holy LORD, I am so full of joy at the opportunity to be used to the glory of Your Kingdom. I bless your Name, O LORD, I praise you, Most High God. In your Precious and Holy Name, Amen.