I am a music girl. Oh yes. I swear the only way I get anything done around the house – this includes cooking – is if I have my music on and have a dance party in my kitchen. #truth. So today, my house was in dire need of a good cleaning, so I put on my music and jammed out while I was picking up. Then this song by Tamela Mann came on called “Take Me to the King”… Oh my. I stopped cleaning and stood there with my broom in my kitchen and soaked up these words:

Truth is I’m tired
Options are few
I’m trying to pray
But where are you?
I’m all churched out
Hurt and abused
I can’t fake
What’s left to do?
Truth is I’m weak
No strength to fight
No tears to cry
Even if I tried
But still my soul
Refuses to die
One touch will change my life
[Chorus:]
Take me to the King
I don’t have much to bring
My heart’s torn in pieces
It’s my offering
Lay me at the throne
Leave me there alone
To gaze upon Your glory
And sing to You this song
Please take me to the King

All I could think about was all the times in my life I have felt like this: when church doesn’t cut it. When the “church-talk” is too superficial and doesn’t get into the realness where it’s needed. When your friends don’t understand. When you family has no clue. When you can’t speak the words to convey the sorrow. When your soul is screaming and nothing and no one can help fix it, what do you do? I love the words to this chorus: “Lay me at the throne and just leave me there alone!” I remember sitting on my couch with a broken heart that I just could not put back together – nothing I tried for months could fix my broken soul. Until. Finally I heard some words to a Psalm – I may have remembered them from my childhood, but I think it was God whispering them into my ears knowing I would search for them. It went something like this: “Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me Lord, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD?! How long? (Psalm 6:2-3).” Those words, “how long, O LORD, how long,” repeated in my head as I cried my sorrows into my pillow and waited for the God who promised to be there. I felt abandoned. But slowly God showed me that he is indeed the healer; he is the one who takes the offering of a heart torn to pieces and sews it into a new and beautiful creation. It took me laying at his throne alone – it was just Him and I, no church, no friends, no family. He put me back together in a way that I could never have done, and he gave me a new life that surpassed my wildest dreams. As I laid at His throne, He showed me his glory and replaced my broken love with one that filled me with peace and joy in all circumstances. When my father died two years ago, I knew that the throne was the only place I could go that would reach into my sorrow and mend it from the inside out. And God was there, He was with me every moment of every day, showing me the joy in each day. He did not always give me the answers I craved, but always he gave me peace and rest.

So, Beloved, when your heart is in pieces and “church” just doesn’t cut it. When what lies broken in you is more than man’s words can handle: lay yourself at the throne. Lay there all alone and gaze upon His glory, singing this song. Go to the King and offer Him the pieces. He is the only one that can revive your broken heart ❤